Wedge

While I find it kind of hard to reply to this, I suppose I find it even harder to not reply to. Be careful. Some people get depressed after breakups, and you sound like one of them.

What I can tell you is that from my experience, alcohol never made anything better or easier. What does make things easier and better, at least did for me, was to get out and do activities with other people. Doesn't really matter what you decide to do, I think, as long as other people are around. Merely the act of dressing up to meet people will help you feel better.

Good luck

Are you sure you want to discuss this in public...? :-/It's always two sides of the same coin.
When I broke up in 2005, I went on to be alone for a total of 6 weeks before I met Milady... 6 weeks isn't terribly long.
However, in that time:
- I was very happy with the breakup.
- I was horribly sad about it at the same time.
- I went through a two-week period of what can be characterized as depression. (Or is that post-breakup trauma?) I barely ate anything, had no interest in anything. My neighbor told me later that I looked like a zombie.
- I started losing weight. Because of that, I started feeling a bit better about my overall looks. Thus, I kept eating the same, started doing a 'proper' diet, and ended up losing about 40 pounds in the course of 6 months (20 pounds in the first month).
- After several weeks I felt better about myself, had taken new directions and really got out of the depression period. I was ready to conquer the world again...

I guess that, sometimes, you really have to go through bad times to be able to renew your focus in life. It's the same with lost loves, lost family, even lost opportunities can be a factor...And, err... Where was that?Do you think anyone's code is bug-free? Not everyone is John Carmack or whatever... We contribute, little by little. The bigger the contribution, the higher the chances of a bug hidden somewhere.
Heck, most of the times you only find the bugs by chance. Accounting for them before they happen, is tantamount to adding a lock on every door in one's house even though one lives alone. Sometimes it's just simpler to do something, try it, if it works in the long run great, if it doesn't, either fix it again, or just revert it and think of another solution. Or just nothing. It's not that important...I made Kyodai Mahjongg 15 years ago. It was certainly my greatest success in life, and I still hate it for what it's worth. I find it childish and primitive, too. It's nothing compared to my recent web works. But people like that naïveté, I guess. Don't bother trying to fight with who you used to be. What matters is what you're doing now. And being content with it. Happiness isn't always about accomplishing goals. It's mainly about enjoying the process in the middle.I hope I didn't hurt you with my comment on the ban feature thing...Wanna come over...? I mean right now? It can always be done...

Well.. Nao and Norodo said it all.. alcohol isn't the solution and even if it seems the most difficult thing to do you should try to go out with friends. They can seem stupid and the things they discuss or laugh about may appear futile, but over time I think you'd enjoy again the times with them.

Also remember that everyone goes through it as well so your not the only one that's felt the way you do, so talk to friends about it!

Um, here's the thig... I was feeling this way before the breakup, even then I was having trouble coding, feeling like themagic had gone, it's been that way since Christmas, maybe even before that.

It took the breakup for me to realise it.

I'd love to get away from everything right now and rediscover what it was that made me fall in love with programming but I have so much stuff to do here that I won't be able to for several days at least, family matters and such.

As you wish, really... :unsure:

I don't know you very well, but I have been following you, your work, and your sites for an few years now.

All I can say is that you, your work, and your way of thinking is inspiring a lot of people every day. The way you work, the results it gives, the way you look at websites and development.

There has been a lot of shit going on in your life. First with smf and its team. I also remember some crap in the dream portal team boards. The split up with your wife. And I have probably forgotten quite a few more...

Those situations have an huge impact on an person. Always fighting for your right. I think what you need is an break. And an deserves one it is. Take the plane, and go to an country that you've always wanted to visit. Have fun. And eventually you'll find rest and power to move on.

But remember that what you do does matter.

The fact that you are sharing this with a bunch of people who only know you "on paper" makes me think you are feeling lost and confused right now.  I don't mistake myself for one of your dear, close friends, but I do respect the parts of you I've met online.

I can't make any very specific comments because I honestly don't know you very well.
"Forest for the trees" is a problem not only in developing code, but in many parts of life.

I think the best advice I've seen here is to go see the people who really care about you, in person. Or invite them over.
See their faces, shake hands, hug.
The second best advice is about doing things that are good for you, healthy for you, and help you feel good about yourself.
Diet, exercise, trip to the doctor -- all those kinds of things.

Of course, you are going to feel blue, "in mourning" or even depressed for a while. Accept that, and accept that you are going to be able to move on.

A common thing to do about now is to think through your priorities. What is important in this life?
In the future, what balance will you look for in the different parts of your life?
Many people feel most satisfied when they feel connected to something good, important, and larger than themselves.
Thinking through these things will help you as you work through the feelings and try to figure out which way is up.

Adversity and opportunity. I don't know what your best path forward is, but I wish you all the best.

You're in my prayers, Arantor.  C'mon out to California and hang out in Yosemite with me.  :)  We'll play a round of golf at the Wawona Golf Course, then hike the Mist Trail.  Guaranteed to shake the blues.

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who's taken the time to respond here, it is appreciated.

Someone helpfully pointed me in the direction of http://www.helpguide.org/mental/burnout_signs_symptoms.htm which has given me things to think about.

In other news, I've been trying to arrange a few things to get out and about, namely to go to Paris and then to some friends in America (in Kentucky), Kentucky's looking pretty firm for the first week or two of July but I had hoped to get to France before that, though it seems Eurostar is fully booked :( But it should definitely give me a mental rest from trying to do everything I've been trying to do and mean that I can get things back on track, and then everyone's a winner :)

Burn out blows and its not always caused by the work itself. A break to reflect is always nice.

Eurostar is fully booked? Sounds surprising...
And what about ferries?

The problem with ferries is that I have to get to the port, and IIRC Dover is not that easy to get to. Newhaven's easier but that just means I'd get to Dieppe and have no idea how to get to anywhere else - I don't know the travel system in France and my French is terribly poor :(

Going by car?